Friday, November 28, 2008

dusk till dawn...



When it rains it pours but if you look very closely you will always see a silver lining. Life is not at all perfect for perfection just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What's perfect to me may be insanely awful for the others and vice versa. But through all Life's inevitable change and undying hardships-- comes the grace to overcome them all.

They say that true friends and real people can be seen during the twilight of your life. When you're on your way down to the growing darkness and hope is what all you've got. You become sensitive and aware of all the things and events that's going on around you. You become more appreciative of even those little kindness people are showing you, like giving up a seat for you, adding extra on the food you're buying, friends paying the cab for you and stuff like that can really make your heart feel light. Then you meditate yourself on all the positive thoughts and try to stay away from the ones that will only doom you to more insecurities and further pain. So, you grope, struggle for that "silver lining" and strain your eyes from seeing what lies ahead...

Life is good to those who are good to life itself. The ones who believe that obstacles and trials are there to keep you strong. People who have faith to know that there will be a rainbow after each storm. Those who have endured the test and still managed to walk despite their every fall.

I had my share of twilight and will always have another. But the day won't start and end with darkness. I am at the dawn, where sunrise is just but a few blinks away. So, I'll just sit right here and camp for a while... tired from the journey-- but not giving up.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

her song...




When did time has ever been so right nor the place has ever been perfect? FATE, has its own paths and patterns unknown to any soul. Sometimes it play tricks on us not even the brightest player could ever play...nor could ever win.


Your heartaches comes not from loving less or falling out of it . Instead the heart bleeds more from walking away with someone who holds your heart. Its the courage to play the game the fairest way you could. When the future is as empty as a cloudless sky and the promise is as vague as a fog in the air. It takes a brave heart to let go of someone you love knowing that his happiness and dreams lies not with you. The tears will be bitter and painfully flow but the love has earned its spot... deep-- in your core of heart.


Sunday, November 2, 2008

trick or treat...















Trick or treat is not a very typical sight in Filipino community, some malls, exclusive village or subdivision may have been practicing it but not everyone does. We are privileged enough though to have them in our village and every year me and my kids keep on missing them since we need to go to the city (Manila) so I could visit my loved ones who departed from Avenue of Life and are busy walking the street of gold. But this year we decided to go and participate the Halloween Parade.

It was a chaos, unorganized event to a point of being on a stampede and the bad weather is not helping any. I guess we have been treated and tricked afterwards, haha! It was a beautiful sight at the beginning watching Casper walking along with Batman while a Witch was having a girl chat with a Fairy but the moment candies were given i found myself in a parade of disaster. At one time, there was a fourth grader who took a bag of candies from my son's Halloween loot bag just when he was about to open it to receive another candy from a good soul. That explains why he was losing goodies instead of gaining them, because a "real ghost" was on the site! So, I told my kids just to stay away from them.

I've been to a point of taking them home when older kids started to stepped on the younger ones with their umbrellas almost poking the lil one's eyes just so they can get candies. I told myself that if i just bought my kids candies and goodies instead of paying the registration fee then i don't have to put myself on a risk of heart attack! Darn people! You don't make a career trying to get as much candies on a trick or treat you know! So long at last the parade was over and the dinner party isn't much fun at all. Hamburglar (Mc Donald's mascot) was dancing over the soaking wet kids under the rain and the host was asking if they still wanted to play a game while parents are wanting to go home and call it an early day at 7 in the evening.

It was such a relief to finally be inside and embrace the warmth of our house. All of my disappointments and fatigue has disappeared especially when my kids told me they had fun and would wanted to do it again next year! In some ways it was fun, with people ready to give away their time and effort to organize a party like that and make children happy. Bless those souls who spend money buying those goodies and candies despite our economic crisis just to put a smile on our kids face. Bless that Hamburglar mascot who chose to dance in that Halloween party instead of being home.

If we only see things through the eyes of a child and be happy in simple things like they are, LIFE perhaps will not be that complicated. Then we can learn to appreciate everything and everyone around us. Find blessings either on being tricked or treated. So at the end of the day we can enjoy the fruits of success-- SWEET as candies!




memory lane...




Halloween, a day for the dead. Dead loved ones, friends, colleagues, saints, pets or even just an acquaintance. I watched a segment in the news the other day about a cemetery wherein its not people that are being buried-- but feelings. Why not? I asked myself. It would have been a relief to bury the negative side of you (just make sure you don't join them yourself 6 feet below the ground, haha!) and let your pride, pessimistic attitude along with insensitivity and other ugly traits you possess find their place-- down below and hope it won't ever resurface.

What about those nega people around you? It would have been very tempting to bury them as well but just leave the job to someone who is tasked to do it and wash that dirty thought away from your sinful mind! A soul mate once told me that there's always something good innate in each and everyone of us, just lying dormant for some reason. We see what we allow our eyes to see and make those we don't want to see as invisible. There's a reason why people behave, think and feel the way they do. They may not be right all the time but who knows how we ought to behave, think and feel?! We are our own masters and we are weaved different from the others. Its our right to express ourselves but we do not have the monopoly on it.

At one point, you may have argued with your loved ones. You don't mean to hurt them but you were able to. You don't bury the person and leave her from your past for it will always haunt you and darn that memory you got! You find yourself looking back on the good times when you're supposed to remember the bad ones, right? How can that be that you find yourself smiling when you're supposed to be smirking hearing the name?!

You can never close entirely your doors to someone who's been a part of you, no matter how you try. Like those people we visit on their grave each year, they're gone but in our hearts they're still very much in there. There are days, nights that we are haunted by their thoughts, their names, we reach out yet we could not touch or hold them but we know and we feel that they are there.

The love is not lost... sometimes unexpressed yeah...but never gone.